South SFO; My Precious Room ( MPR.)Where do I begin ???
To tell the story of how great a love can be.
A sweet love story that is older than the seas.
The seas..
I want to go back to the seas...
I want to feel the salty wind upon my face.
I desperately want and need to be there...
I want my feet to touch the gentle waves, feel the white sands, maybe write love notes to my Abba, in the sands .. I want to be alone..in solitude. I want it now... now... now!!!!!
And God answered...A dear friend invited us for her usual walk in a certain beach at Pacifica. The weather was sunny. I was so thankful. Very few are the times that I could see the sun in our place, though they say - it is still summer. Indian summer, that is.
At last, the seas... the many diverse people, the dogs, of all breed and sizes. Hats, too, and they were many kinds. Different shapes, materials. Have you ever had that feeling of being " alone " in a crowd? I think that most of us, or all of us, have had that same experience. Being alone in a crowd. But the mind could go beyond what the natural eyes could not see. The spiritual eyes could see beyond this place, this present time, and remember...
And I did remember..
I was more or less 7 years old at that time. Summer. It was my first trip away from home. My first sight of the place, of its people, its customs and traditions, their way of life, and all that bespeaks of it. This is real.. I have seen this place, countless times, through the many stories I have heard when my late parents would remember. When relatives and folks come to the house, stay briefly, or longer. I hear of this place only when the elderly people and my parents are having such joy and laughter, at times sadness, and many are the crying times, especially when they remember the memories of the dearly departed, and those who have left for greener pastures, away from home. The only difference was the place, the time, and the people. And the bottom line almost always was, most of the families have already immigrated or are in the process of migrating to Hawaii, or in some other countries worldwide. The Ilocanos were having their " diaspora. " A term I learned only when God sent me in the Mission field, locally and internationally. Funny that I don't understand a single word they said, because they were always talking in the Ilocano dialect, yet within my spirit I could somehow relate and visualize what were being said. This is a coastal town, meaning they live near the seacoasts or shorelines. This is where my late Mom was born and where she grew up, till her marriage to the my late Dad, who was born and who grew up in another place, quite far from where they are Those were the " immigration years " of our relatives to settle in Hawaii, on my mother's side, same with my Dad's family. Being the youngest girl at that time, my aunties could just bring me with them in their back and forth trips from Solotsolot, Lapog, ( that's the name of that place.) which in later years would be renamed San Juan, Ilocos Sur, to our home in Manila, because the US Embassy was in Manila, located at Dewey Boulevard, and which in later years too, would be renamed - Roxas Boulevard.
The seas..
It was part of China Sea. So beautiful! So pristine.. clear and clean..so inviting. The blue green color of the seas near the seashore and in the horizon, it was deep blue, was a sight to behold. The white sands, were so cool on my feet, the warm gentle waves rolling back and forth, as the cool winds touched my face. It was so refreshing on an early morning! In my young mind, I was directing a question to that One up there, not only once, but many times - where are these waves coming from and where are they going?And I remember... ( Genesis 1:1-2 NIV.) - In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
And I had my " first life - lesson " on the beach. My late Grandfather, my Lolo Misyong came one day, while I was playing on the shoreline, with a shell in his hand and said... " Come.. ( most Ilocanos, could speak good English, but more fascinating was, the older folks could speak more of their " broken " English, than in our native language, Tagalog.) He said, " I could see that you love the sea. You were playing with the waves, because you could touch, feel it. Do you see the wind ? Do you feel the wind in your face? I was silent.. Do you want to hear, the sound of the wind? " " Yes," I said.. And he placed the shell on my ear, looked at me with his doting, loving eyes. Because folks in that barrio said I am a carbon copy of my Mom. Could he be remembering my Mom, too when she was yet of my age? Did he taught her too, to listen to the winds, like what he did to me then? He told me that I could call the wind and it will come, because " Apo Dios ' loves me. And in His love for me, Apo Dios, (that's how he calls his God. ) He will send the winds every time I'll call because He hold the winds in His hands. If only.. I will wait... and listen.. Then I will hear... the sound of the winds.. I nodded, obeyed what he has told me and I heart the sound of the winds! I was wide-eyed with delight! It was true! Yes... Yes... Yes! And in a flash, I saw the smiling face of my Grandfather.. Seemingly, he was more overjoyed than I am. Different time zones.. Different places..God called them back home, many, many years ago. Something in me was stirred up. Something was unclogged, coming from my inner being. I looked up to the skies and said..." I am deeply grateful, that You have sent them all to me, to watch me grow, as a young girl, blossomed into a woman, and into my being a mother. They were there too when I received the biggest blow of my life. That moment when someone I love so dearly rejected, abandoned and despised me and our children thirty- one years ago, comes September 2010. - And they were there, loving me, nurturing me, holding my hands, through all the seasons of my life. (Daniel 2:21a NIV) - " He changes times and seasons.
Then tears flowed from my eyes, like a dam let loosed...( John 3: 7-8 NIV.) - He who believes in me, out of his heart will flow living waters.) And it dawned on me that this is what I desperately need at the moment .In silence, God allowed me to remember - " I remember the days of long ago; I will meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done." ( Psalm 143:5 NIV.) I need to be reminded of those precious moments, because lately, in the past months violent waves have been trying to crush me and my family. Seemingly, the crashing waves of the enemy has been trying to drown us, once again.. Relentlessly, blow by blow, he was trying to tell us, that he is real, that he exists, and his creed of stealing, killing, destroying is more vicious now. ( John 10:10 NIV.) But the love and faithfulness of God, our Abba, was there, constant and steadfast. The evil one hates it, that because of His lovingkindness, we have somehow forgotten him.
I wanted so much to cry, but tears were wanting. Have all my tears dried up? At times, all that we need is to do is to let go... and cry..The gift of tears.. Psalm 56:8 says, "Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll--are they not in your record?"
Wait.
Listen.
Hear.
Call.
Come.
Love.
Apo Dios.
To sum it up, he said, learn to wait.. then listen..so I could hear the sound of the winds. When I call the winds will come because Apo Dios loves me, and He hold the winds in His hand.
Little did I know that the 7 very simple words he said, would be my strong foundations, and on which God has manifested slowly, but surely, that no matter what, inspite and despite of , He will always be there for me, to help me build and rebuild my life, on the Truth of His Word, day by day, in this journey, called Life.
AWESOME GOD!*<>< lua... ( loveualways.)
How I love the metaphor - "He holds the winds in His hand". :-)
ReplyDelete